Jeffrey Epstein Sports Reporter

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Jeffrey Epstein spent most of his life covering sports functions. In high school his enthusiasm was basketball, however his height tricked him. With the ball handling skills of a center, and the mindset of a power forward, his 5’10” forced him to turn his eye towards different sports. By default he ended up running Cross Country. Jeffrey Epstein still retains a State cross country course record, not because he was all that fast, but because they altered the course right after he won a race with a new course record.

Maturing in Hawaii, the first professional sport he ever observed was minor league baseball. While he was visiting in the mainland he was able to watch Don Drysdale vs. Juan Marichal twice and he also viewed Warran Spahn and Hammering Hank Aaron at Candlestick Park.

His first experience of professional basketball was a pre-season game involving the Lakers and the Blazers featuring Bill Walton against Kareem. Minutes into the first quarter Kareem cold-cocked Walton and was ejected. After that, the game was dull.

One of his very first reminiscences was seeing Peter Snell run in person. After his back to back achievement at the 1964 Olympics, Mr. Snell prepared to run the first sub 4 mile in the history of Hawaii. Regrettably, it never happened but I was in awe Peter’s leg size. You can see layers and levels of muscle tissues. It is something I’ve not observed before.

Jeffrey Epstein is fond of opposing points. There was a case when he showed up at Boston Garden donning his New York Knicks colors and cheering for Clyde, Earl, Dave, Bill, and Willis Reed while at the Staple Center he donned his Celtic gear. Remarkably, he lived through his attendance at both locations.

A few years back, he was able to gain access to several Laker season tickets at the Forum and he increased  his income by marketing some of his tickets before he came into the arena. He was impressed by the fact that Charles Barkley was the biggest draw based on this way of measuring. Jeffrey got $20 over face value for every ticket for Barkley’s game and not quite face value when Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls were in town.

While living in Boston for eight years, outside of two Knick–Celtic games, Jeffery Epstein can correctly state that not once did he attend a game at Fenway Park, nor did he waste time on a Patriots game in person – hey, it’s cold in Massachusetts in the winter time. For some reason, absence makes the heart grow fonder, for now that he lives in Los Angeles, Mr. Epstein is now attached to the Celtics and the Patriots.

Jeffrey Epstein is an old-school sports romantic. He abhors the brand new parks for locations. The Staple Center may be convenient because the lines at the refreshment counters are relatively short, but as a sporting venue it is an epic fail. Thirteen rows from the court and you might as well be viewing mimes. The style is impressive because instead of hearing whistles, shouts, and sneakers squeaking, you hardly hear anything.

Jeffrey Epstein is also not a fan of the taming of sports generally. The rules about not coming in contact with the quarterback in football, to elimination of bumps and run coverage, the restricting of hand checking in basketball, and the addition of more rules made these games rather boring to watch. In many ways, television has wrecked sports: first because it has jacked players’ salaries to the point where the league had to invent rules to protect the owners’ investments and second because of the additional TV timeouts making the games unwatchable in person. Furthermore, take note of the ticket prices and you will notice that it is merely out of this world. It’s a sad day, when viewing a sporting event on television is a far superior product than watching personally, but then again, as reality programming goes, sporting events sure do beat Dancing with the Stars.

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